…as a constant user of the whatsapp desktop version (because I work from home on computer all day, and because a proper keyboard beats twiddling about with thumbs on a teeny touch-screen, hands-down (hahahahaha)), I’ve noticed that media – even just simple photos and black and white memes, upload and download extremely slow, but mostly not at all, on the desktop version.

My phone on the other hand…

…operating on the exact same wifi network…

…is just fine. It uploads and downloads media in whatsapp as usual, like there’s nothing wrong or strange with the phone version at all.

Why is that?

Now see, when I read stuff like this:

https://www.businessinsider.co.za/countries-tracking-citizens-phones-coronavirus-2020-3

and this:

https://www.moneyweb.co.za/news/tech/sa-launches-mobile-tracking-of-those-with-coronavirus/

and this:

https://qz.com/africa/1834409/coronavirus-south-africans-are-worried-about-cellphone-privacy/

and I consider my experience, then I can’t help but connect dots.

“Zuckerberg, young man.
Remember how you fucked up by letting the Cambridge Analytica thing get out?
Well see, you owe us. And now we’re collecting.
Whatever apps you have, we need you to make it so the desktop version is just about impossible to use, versus the mobile one.”

“Why?”

“We need people on their phones now, so we know where they are. This virus thing is bad and we’re going to need tracking if we want to save humanity.”

…at least, in my head, that’s the version they gave to him…

Jus’ sayin’…