The Chicken Coup

I have been reading a lot of news lately.
This is bad for the constitution, it seems, and for my stomach.
This news has recently, mostly included reports and revelations about a company called Bosasa, as told by a member of staff known as Angelo who I suspect decided to break ranks with his former boss (Gavin Watson), and probably did so because he got jealous that he wasn’t being given a bigger share of the Bosasa “chickens” to farm with himself, of those he was being ordered by his boss to dispense, to a steady and colourful procession of some of our most glorious revolutionary overlords – all of whom have been shown to have been standing in an unusually orderly row with open hands – and, who it seems, have suddenly turned all agricultural, if all this clucking about “chickens” by Angelo, is to be believed.
What boggles my mind is how Angelo could fancy himself as a farmer amongst them. I mean sure, he’s not a lover of darkies, apparently, so there’s that, and he’s fat and he’s white but I honestly doubt he knows three words of Afrikaans, and besides, it’s Lamborghini that builds tractors and not Ferrari. Any self-respecting farmer would know this.
Shame.

Come to think of it, with all the “chickens” they have being given I think I just figured out why our glorious revolutionary leaders are so obsessed with land nowadays. Where else must they keep all their new-found fowl? Mind you, the (not-so-)honourable revolutionary keepers-behind-bars-of-our-country’s-criminals, Linda Mti, Zach Modise, Khulekani Sithole and Patrick Gillingham should sommer just pass go and let their share of “chickens” come home to their correctional farms and roost there, since amongst themselves they have both the state land and free incarcerated labour with which to do their farming already. And who knows, if the NPA’s new boss Shamila Batohi is to be taken seriously, perhaps these glorious revolutionary avian agricultarians of the Correctional Services department, all of whom have been so colourfully fingered by Angelo, will yet have their day to don green overalls and farm their own fowl right there on Correctional Services grounds, by their glorious revolutionary selves. One can only hope…

But of course one can’t be too careful, you know. They will need to beef up their security. My aunty Susan from Zeerust says that life on farms is very dangerous nowadays and she would know. Especially when you consider all the security upgrades Angelo and his Bosasa cronies paid for and installed for more of our illustrious revolutionary leaders such as Mantashe, Mokonyane and Myeni, and they live in the cities, where it’s safe! Sheesh.
Ah well.
All this talk of fowl farming has made me hungry now.
Think I’ll take a look in my fridge and see if I can find myself some chicken of my own…

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